what i'll miss : what i'll get

It's so odd. I was at coffee with my mom this morning, really early, and we were just talking about life, and what Washington is going to be like... and out of the blue, this man from our church comes into the Starbucks. And who else could it be, but my "step grandfather", Dick Friesendorf. He is a golden representation of how loved we are by our church. Just his simple 'goodmorning sweety', and amazing hugs shine so much joy into my life because I know he cares so much for us. After we sat back down to our coffee, both my mom and I were near tears, because both she and I knew that these times were not going to last much longer. It's a small valley, and running into people you know is very common.

Here's the simple truth... I-hate-the-desert. I see no point in being here, I have no future, and everywhere I go, I'm being suffocated by the painful memories of my past. But that doesn't mean that everything here is bad. When I think about things that are worth staying for, the first thing that jumps to my mind is Brandi, Alyssa, and Hailey. Read my posts I wrote about Alyssa, and Brandi. This little family is just so amazing. I haven't written a lot about Hailey, but she is just as amazing as her sister and mom.

Let me briefly talk about Hailey. She's 11, blonde, 70 lb., really short, and easy to pick up and run away with. Hailey is the strongest little girl I've ever met. The storms she faces in her life never keep her from smiling and brightening people's lives. Though sometimes I worry about her, I know that her incredible faith in God keeps her grounded and she will come out on top of everything she is faced with.

Ok, back on topic. When I think about what is important to me in the desert, I think of these 3 people. Any time I get to text, talk, or be with them, I cherish the memories. For example, last night, I had a 4 hour skype video call with them. Not all of it was spent talking, and as Alyssa would get tired, Hailey would come in to talk to me, and Brandi would filter in and out of the picture occasionally. It just made me so sad though. This was what my relationship with them would mostly consist of when I move. And even then as I skyped them from 10 minutes away, my heart still ached to sit next to them, and hug them, and be with them, rather than look at them through a computer.

Another thing my heart breaks about when I think of leaving is my family. My grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and our new additions to the family. But i guess wherever I go, there will always be some family left behind. I'm moving in with cousins in Washington, and I'm leaving some in California. But again, it makes me cry when these things present themselves to me.

But I never doubt. I never doubt what the Lord has lain before me. His plans for my life in Washington are going to be unbelievable. Though these people in California will be incredibly missed, I know my life will be turned upside down as God brings new people, new friends, and new Faith family alongside me.

So I guess the point is, I will always have my life in California. I will always have my family, and my friends will always hold a special claim on their part in my life. But I have a future that I know is beautiful. A future that will blow my mind. And all because God was gracious enough to allow me this undeniable, unavoidable, unimaginable opportunity.. :)