humbled

My heart is attempting to put its current state into words to express how joyful I am at this moment in time. But I can not fully accomplish this. Because no mater what words I choose, no adjective can bring to light the wonder my heart feels right this second.

I'm gonna be super straight forward and honest right now. I am cocky. I am completely full of myself and conceited. I am not humble at all, and if any attention can be given to me, I'll gladly take it. And obviously, this is a big problem..

Last week when I was in my Saturday night church, there was a song that we sang that completely deflated my heart. It shot my big head out of the skies, and brought me down to earth. There was a line in the song that just sealed the deal. It said, "I'm humbled by the wonder of your majesty". And as I was standing there, I was overwhelmed with just that. The true wonder of His majesty.

But it didn't stop there. It went on, "One thing I know, I find all I need, in your unending love"

For the first time ever, I truly want everything to be about God. Who am I to take attention away from the wonderful God of the universe? I'm not worthy!

I experienced what it meant for the first time to truly-be-humble. And I never want it to change.

a woman of her word

Recently I began reading the book Captivating. I've become so immersed in its pages that I become almost completely unaware of what is going on around me. Which could potentially be dangerous because I only have short blocks of about 15 minutes to read here and there while I'm at camp, and I'm fairly certain one of the staffers has it in to throw me in the lake sometime soon.

One thing that's captured me in this book would be the constant in-depth search into who and what a woman is meant to be. Not a long list of things she should not be. As I've been spending some time praying and thinking about this topic, I've started making a list of who I am, and what I want to be known for. And one of the things I listed jumps out from the others.

I want to be a woman who is know for keeping my word.

I feel like the essence of what it means to give somebody your word has been greatly lost and diluted in today's world. For example, I have a friend who I've been trying to get together and hang out with for months. I'm not kidding. It has to have been a good 5 months that we've been trying to make something work. But every single time, the day that I'm to meet her somewhere, or she is supposed to be at my house, she doesn't follow through. And every time, it's a tiny little jab at my heart that, oh she's not good enough to hang out with, or, we're not really friends, i don't know her at all, it doesn't matter if I don't show up. And even though I know these words are lies, I struggle greatly in falling victim to them.

Time and time again I find myself willingly giving over my heart to the lies that are circling around me. It's like the devil is looking into my eyes, and without saying a word, I reach out my wrists for him to clasp the chains onto. It seems like I do it so easily, and it really is a struggling for me.

But anyway, back to the main topic for the evening. You know that saying? Treat others the way you would like to be treated...? Well when people promise me things, I want them to follow through. When I make a promise, or say that I'm going to do something, I want to follow through... No. I will follow through. Because starting right here, right now, I will be a woman of my word.