squandered blessings

Oh goodness blogging world. It's been a long time since I've done this. And the things I need to catch you up on are extensive. However, tonight I have a short message for you about something I learned tonight at church.

So how many times have you heard someone preach a message about the Prodigal Son? I think I've heard every interpretation of that story in the alphabet. Tonight wasn't totally different. Though it was a great message, and a good reminder. However, the thing that got me was what someone said after the actual talk.

It was about the son in the story. It was specifically about how he had squandered his father's wealth. She said that the father gave to this son out of the grace of his heart. He gave it willingly and without regret. The girl related it to her own life and how God has given her so many blessings out of the willingness of His fatherly nature, and how she totally takes it for granted and squanders what he gives her. A total lack of gratitude and humility.

And ooooh how that hit me. I can remember the specific day two years ago after I came back from my summer camp when I was pleading with God to let me come to Washington. I was so done with California. I knew then like I know now that there was no longer anything there for me. That day ended, and I moved on. To move from my home town forever just seemed so impossible. I didn't give it a second thought because after my pleading session with God, reality set in, and I knew what I was asking for was too big, and there was no way I would get it.

Well ta da! Here I am, sitting on my fuzzy brown couch on the third floor of the house that we are renting from in WOODINVILLE WASINGTON! Even as I sit here writing, the true awesomeness of what God has done for me by bringing me up to Washington continues to overwhelm me.

But here's the problem. I was so unaware of what God had done for me when He brought me here that I was completely ungrateful and selfish about MY feelings and MY friends and MY ideas of what my life should have looked like. I remember our first conversation about moving exactly a year ago. I was so overwhelmed and did not want to leave that I started crying.

And now as I am daily asking God to show me His heart, He's made it clear to me that His heart was broken. He was trying to do something nice for me. He was answering me plea for a life away from California, and all I could do was be sad and filled with grief about leaving rather than recognize the phenomenal gift that He was giving me.

And oh my goodness! He has sooo followed through on making this just as amazing a gift as He intended it to be.

He's given me a worship team, an immediate group of girlfriends that I can talk to about anything, new opportunities to have relation with generations besides my own (the younger kids I live with, and the 92 year old lady who walks around our street making her little piles of branches and pine cones), an absolutely BEAUTIFUL place I can call home in the middle of a colonial themed community, amazing opportunities to further my educational opportunities...

This list could seriously go on and on and on. But it's getting pretty late and practically the only thing I'm lacking in since I've been here is sleep. It's been so great to get back on here blogging. But also and fyi, all the pictures you've been seeing on either side of this post were taken on my phone in the past 2 months. :) Yes, it is absolutely gorgeous here.