moments with brandi

Brandi is amazing. Like really, absolutely amazing. As you see, I write about Brandi aaalll the time on my blog. But this one is a little more direct about her specifically. This is my second trip down to the desert since I moved. For my first one I got to stay with Brandi. We had such amazing moments together. We were able to have coffee which is a very special tradition of ours. We talked for so long. Everything she said made me so happy. I was so happy to be back with her again.

We walked around at a park later that day, talking about life and what I wanted to do in the future. We sat down, and just stayed there. Stayed sitting. We didn't even really talk. We've talked about everything, from every point of view, in any way it could possibly be talked about. But there are always those moments when we sit without speaking, just to enjoy each others presence.

We had a similar time together that evening. Watching a couple movies, we sat together and I lay my head on her shoulder. I've always been against watching movies as "time spent together", but it was late, and I knew she was tired, and it made me really happy that she would stay up to watch these movies with Dylan and Hailey and I.

This one is small, but it made me just as happy. She had to get up early in the morning to wake up Alyssa for worship, and I was playing also, so she woke me up as well. I'd been in and out of being awake for about an hour, but at that moment I was falling out of it again. But I remember feeling her hand lightly on my back, and a very small whisper... "Maddie.. it's 6." I don't know why, but I just loved it. :)

Yesterday she and I went to coffee again. We only had a little while. She had to leave for a dinner. But I don't think it ever really matters where she or I are going, or if we're going anywhere at all. All the time we spend together must come to an end. But it was my favorite coffee I'd ever had with her. She brings me great joy. Even when I'm exhausted, tired, sad, or upset, she is always able to make me smile.

But today was my favorite. After a long day, she came over to the house I'm staying at and kept me company as I babysat my cousin Malachi. After he went down, we got to talk for a little bit before she had to go back to her house to finish her dinner. But the greatest thing was that she came back about 50 minutes later. It's hard to describe. Joyful, jubilant, excited, cared about, blessed, delighted, peaceful... this is everything I am feeling when I say happy. And it's everything I mean when I say that I was so happy that she came back.

I love Brandi. That's all I can say. I just love Brandi. My greatest friend. I miss her so much when I'm in Washington. I love Brandi so much.

a very clanton weekend

CHEESE!

So last Friday, I got up at the butt crack of dawn to go to Sea Tac Airport to get on a plane to fly down to California to surprise Hailey and Alyssa. I'd been secretly plotting this adventure for about 3 weeks previous with their mom, though we didn't actually know till that morning if I was actually coming because I may have not got on the flight. But I did. And I went. And it was amazing.

So for the three days before, I hadn't been sleeping, so Friday morning I was exhausted. I didn't fall asleep when I was on the plane, so I was a total basket case the whole day. My Grami picked me up from the airport and took me to have coffee for about an hour and get something to eat. Not only was I exhausted, but I was starving, and really excited. So three perfect ingredients for a psychotic Maddie.

Then Hailey and Alyssa's mom, Brandi, came to the Starbucks to have coffee with us for a while, and then plan out how we were going to surprise the girls. I was so excited to see Brandi that I kind of attacked her when I saw her. As she went up to get her drink, and I kept talking to my Grami, out of the corner of my eye I could see her continuing to glance over at us, and I knew she was excited to see me too.

We then planned on my hiding in the bathroom and then coming out to surprise the girls at the Starbucks. I called my mom when I went into the bathroom so she could hear the girls' reaction when they saw me. And then, I got the text from Brandi. It was time to come out. I was so nervous and excited and exhausted, I couldn't stop shaking. I was so excited to see the girls. My little sisters. My best friends..

So I walked out. I knew they wouldn't see me at first because they wouldn't expect me to be there, but I walked over to the bar, and just in a place where Alyssa could see me. And she did. Her eyes kind of glanced over me at first. Then she looked... They widened... A smile grew across her face, and she ran at me. Hailey hadn't seen me at first and didn't know who Alyssa was hugging. I then pulled my head out from the hug, and Hailey just freaked out and came to attack me as well.

It was like everything in the world was right for those few moments. Their happiness. My presence. Their presence. Our hugs. The love I knew we had for each other...

And for those very brief moments when they were totally shocked that I was actually standing in front of them, I never wanted to leave. I wanted to stay there forever, hugging these girls I'd grown to have so much love and care for...

Everything that followed that weekend was amazing. Everything we did was so joyous. When I woke up on Saturday morning, we lied there on the couch hugging each other for what seemed like forever. We still couldn't believe we were together. We didn't want to do anything but be with each other.

And I would never forget another very important part of the weekend. Their mom Brandi. Probably my greatest friend, and right up there with my greatest joy in seeing that weekend. We had coffee on Saturday, and then walked around and sat at the park for a while. We both expressed how we felt like being there together was like a dream. It was just so amazing.

That night, all of us went ice skating. Brandi, Alyssa, Hailey, their brother Dylan, their dad Phil, and I. Though actually, Phil and Alyssa didn't ice skate, but watched. It was so much fun, because Brandi was kind of slow, so I got to just glide alongside her, and maybe catch her when she fell (which she did maybe 6 times), and then go really fast with Hailey and have fun cruising with her and dancing to the music.

That night I got to play a game with Hailey where we pretended Brandi was a crazy child Swedish cannibal. That crazy make believe game was probably the most fun we had the whole weekend.

After which we all watched movies till about 1:30 in the morning, and I got to just lay my head on Brandi's shoulder through the movies, which was probably my favorite part of the whole weekend. Just being with her.

That next day, Brandi and Alyssa took me to my first house. It was the greatest thing ever. I got a little emotional. It reminded me of when everything was perfect in my life. Before there was ever even a thought of something being wrong. When my family had everything together. But it was still odd. Bringing the new into the old. My beautiful relationships with these beautiful girls into the environment of my growing up.

We walked down the street I learned how to ride a bike on. Past the houses where I used to play. The driveway where we gave my dog bathes. The front porch where we played in our kitty pool, made forts out of boxes, played telephone with the neighbors across the street, and ran out to meet my dad when he came home from work in his huge truck.

But I was happy it was all in the past. And I was able to drive away with Brandi and Alyssa. What was once a happy little family and home, is now a broken up group of people. Now I survive with the relation of my little sister and mommy. And with communication with my best friends and people who make me happy, Brandi, Alyssa, and Hailey.

Alyssa and Brandi and I went to the the park and sat down for a bit and hung out and talked. At the last little bit I went over and lied down in Brandi's lap. I was just so happy. So happy that I had my life in Washington. That I was already being blessed with fantastic opportunities up there. But also that I could come back to see these people who are indescribable. The people who, outside of my family, are the nearest, dearest, and most important people to my heart.

And now that I'm back home in Washington, I don't miss them. Well, at least not any more that I thought I would. I will always miss them. But I'm happy that I'm here, not down there. Because up here is where my life will really begin. Where every opportunity opens itself up for me.

But all in all, it was the greatest weekend ever. I'm so happy I got such priceless memories with that family. I can't wait to do it again. :)

blessings

I've never been more happy with my current surroundings...

Two years ago I went to a camp in Washington that changed my life. Little did I know that my involvement there would eventually lead to my moving to the state.

How could I be sad? How could I morn? The place that had key involvement in reshaping my whole future is now the place I dwell all the time.

While one day we'll have beautiful warming sun..

The next we'll have huge blizzards, with everything in between...

For years these girls have brought me so much joy. Now I get to live with them all the time. Here they are spending time with me while I was sick in bed.

Whenever we want, we can go on little dates. This day I made pizza with Sadie (left), we had a date in the living room, and got ready for bed together.

My crazy family.... they keep me going. They make every day a new adventure. When I'm with them, my joy is overflowing. My life without them would be nothing, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for each of them. Together, we are the Blaneys. (Blake + Chaney)

I love it here. God's creativity is never ending. It says in Genesis 1:1 that "In the beginning, God created..."

He is the most creative individual of all time. He made our earth. He made the snow and the sun and rain and hail. And sometimes, just to make it fun, He'll let us experience all four of these in one day. (like He did yesterday)

He is amazing! Washington is overflowing in opportunities and blessings. I'm excited for everything I have here.

 

recap : goodbye faith community church

Oh my gosh. Blogging world, I'm sorry for my extended absence. Lots has happened in the past week. But right now I'm feeling a little sentimental. Let's take a trip down memory lane to January 29th.

January 29th was my last day at church. I just got all the pictures from this day on my computer and I was scrolling through them and they made me so happy. Which I guess is kinda odd. You'd expect a sad day to bring back sad memories, and in turn, make you sad. But not really.

I got to celebrate the season in my life that these people had been a part of. I guess that's why I didn't cry at all when I was saying goodbye to them. I wasn't really sad. But just very happy to see all the people who had taken such a huge vested interest in my mom, sister, and I, send us off to a new chapter with blessings.

Many of them had filled huge rolls in my life that were empty. They healed wounds that had been inflicted on me for years. They blessed my life and were a huge part that will forever be important to me.

They provided me with knowledge. They filled my heart with love. They listened when times were tough and situations were overwhelming. And I know they will never be far from opening up their ears again.

They brought me joy. They joked with me, laughed with me, made my life so much more enjoyable just by the love they'd show through laughs and fun moments.

They helped bring my relationship with Christ to a new level by praying for me, with me, and allowing me to pray for them. God made us a family. And he is the Father.

They taught me. They filled my heart and mind with new ideas and perspectives. And that is something that I will never take for granted.

I'm doing so good right now. I love my life. The joy of the Lord is my Strength! He is faithful in showing me the blessings and wonderful opportunities that are available for me in this beautiful state! His mercies abound, and his love is never ending.

a heart that misses california

They tried to tell me it wouldn't happen. They tried to tell me nothing would be different. They tried to get me to believe a glorious truth that couldn't possibly be. And I gave in a little. Which has caused the reality of my new life to be even more painful.

I love Washington. It's wonderful here. It's beautiful. You never doubt God's goodness, grace, mercy, love, and beauty. It's impossible to when I'm living right in the middle of his outstanding creation. But that doesn't mean I don't miss California. It's not painful. I don't greatly desire to go back. But all the people I left behind aren't able to easily be forgotten.

Ties and bonds have been formed that will last forever. But can they last now?

It's hard for them to with me being so far away. And I told them. I told them it would be different and things would never be the same. But they didn't believe me. And now that it's true, it hurts even more. Because that glimmer of hope had been being held onto so tightly.

This is a tough season. While I don't have an immediate community of friends up here, I have many opportunities for one to be formed. But for 16 years, I had a community, and they haven't grown totally blurry in my rear-view mirror yet. Every day is easier. Every moment is more bearable. My soul is not crushed. My life has not ended. But those moments still come, and I start to wish for those friends who knew what my favorite color is...

(days twelve & thirteen} something i love : favorite band

{A picture of something you love}

I am absolutely obsessed with Flamin Hot Cheetos. I could predict my cause of death today, and it would still be true when my unforeseen passing comes about. "Tragic death. The poor girl overdosed on Flamin Hot Cheetos. She couldn't take the heat."

{A picture of your favorite band or artist}
Owl City. Cute, young, christian, different, and the name has 'owl' in it. What's not to like? 

I am also obsessed with owls.

one of those days

Today was the oddest, probably hardest day I've had since I've been here. And I know the date says it's the 12th, but I'm writing this at like 1:30 in the morning, so to me, it's still Saturday the 11th.

There was nothing specific that happened that caused it to be a hard day. I just got very overwhelmed with the amount of schoolwork I had to do and all that is happening in my life right now. I had really wanted to talk to my friend, who I hadn't talked with verbally in a few days, which hit me really hard tonight, cause I miss her a lot. I skyped with another friend that I haven't been on totally good terms with for a few months now, and though the general product of that conversation was an extremely positive one, I was still extremely anxious leading up to it, which was a good portion of the day since I didn't skype with her till later. I have so many different things happening in my life. They're not all huge, however some are fairly significant and excessive, but there are just so many things that I have to handle right now, or sit back and watch others handle, and I can't do anything to help them. It's a hard season in my life and it's very stressful.

The one thing that was good about today was church. Judah Smith is an incredible speaker. His delivery is incredible. He can keep your attention, with you gripping your chair, as you hang on his every word, even if he's talking about what he had for lunch last Tuesday. He's incredible, and his sermon was one that I wouldn't normally get that into. It was about sex. Yep, you just felt that tightness in your chest. Cause in today's culture, sex is uncomfortable. Which is why I didn't think I would particularly enjoy this message as I read the title, "Jesus is bringing sexy back". But it was the most accurate, honest, true, plain, and eye-opening discussions on the topic I had ever sat through. It was incredible and it greatly inspired me.

So it was a difficult day. There are a lot of things happening in my life right now that are really hard, but at the end of the day, it's not about me, or my life, or my issues. It's about Jesus. It's always about Jesus. It's never me... It's always Him.

{days nine, ten, & eleven} through the most with : messed up things : something i hate

{A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most}

That would totally be Brandi. If you're a regular on my blog, you've seen me write about Brandi a lot, and her daughters, Hailey and Alyssa. I met Brandi a year ago, and never really talked with her. In October of 2011, I got a text from Brandi with a verse in it. When I saw her later that night, I told her how excited it made me when I get her text. So, she proceeded to text me more often. I don't know exactly what caused our relationship to hop on the "Friendship Express" and be catapulted to where it is now, only 3 months later, but I can say it was a total gift from God that he brought Brandi to me. In the middle of the hardest period of time in my life, she helped me through it. She will be a life-long friend.

{A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with}

Oh my love... Delaney Aydel pushes me outside of myself. She gets me to do the weirdest things. She stretches me to be more. To be different. Unique. God brought Delaney into my life to force me into those uncomfortable areas of life I don't usually like to travel into. And over the course of our friendship, I've started volunteering to do those odd, goofballish, things. I enjoy them. Not because I want a reaction from people, I want them to think a certain way about me, or that I am seeking attention. But only because I have so much joy in my life because Jesus is my Lord and Savior, and I want the whole world to know that His love has made me a new person. A person who enjoys life. Who doesn't care if she looks weird sometimes or maybe looks a little stupid. I don't care what people here think. I only care what God thinks. I hope you like me, but I won't be hurt if I'm a little too freaky for you.

 

{A picture of something you hate}

Texting lingo and improper grammar used in everyday life. We're not barbarians. Stop rattling off a bunch of letters to me. Join society. When you do that, you either look like you're too lazy to talk, are too stupid for your own good, or those annoying peppy cheerleaders that are in your face with excitement because your eye shadow matches your shoe laces. Don't be a peppy cheerleader. Talk like a human being.

a week in review : mommy arrives

Time for everything to work! My mom is coming today {along with my kitty!}, and I guess everything can finally get back to normal.

Or not!

Uh, I live in WASHINGTON! Everything I've ever known is 100% DIFFERENT! And you know what... I don't care! It's beautiful here! I walk to get the mail, and it's like going on a journey through the most breathtaking scenery in the world. And that's just my front yard. My last few days have been quite interesting. A week ago, I spent the day with Anne Briggs, our cousin Adam's girlfriend. We buried a bunny, appreciated fine wood-work, played T-swift on the piano, and whipped up gourmet deliciousness.

Saturday, I was taken every-which-way in Snoqualmie Falls by my love, Delaney Aydel. After first feasting on cookie dough with chocolate frosting, we went to a Chinese restaurant, out to the Big Log, took part in the tradition of writing down our phone numbers on the tourist board, and lastly we spent a half hour starring at the namesake of the town, Snoqualmie Falls. It was the most magnificent thing I've ever seen. There was a huge spotlight on the falls (because it was night time) and Delaney was so filled with joy by God's creation that she starred singing jubilant worship songs and dancing around!

Sunday, we went to church and I got to see Delaney get baptized. Afterwords, we spent an hour at Starbucks talking about the differences and similarities between Karate and Taekwondo, while simultaneously taking pictures of Delaney's Starbucks stalker. The whole rest of the day we spent at Sambica for Refuge {the highschool year-round program} to watch the Super Bowl. I got to see a lot of the people form the summer, and it was a fantastic reunion.

Monday and Tuesday weren't so exciting. I just did school. The scourge of the world...

Wednesday though, I got to make lunch for my sister, and then figure out how to make chocolate frosting with Heidi, and that evening, I got to spend a few hours making Valentine's Day cards with Ellie.

Today, I went to the glean with Heidi and got to sort produce for people. This afternoon we set up my mom's room, and then Sydni and I went upstairs to get our room ready and clean. {but we really just watched tv}

So now, I'm sitting in my room, waiting for my mom to get here at 5 with my kitty and grandma, and then everyone will be here. We're not in a million places. We're just together. Like a family. As it should be.